Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Step It Up

On Tuesdays I take a step aerobics class. This allows me to cross off the "do something that scares you" task that I assign to myself every now and then when I feel my world becoming too comfortable, too rehearsed. I have written about step class before; it is unlike my nemesis yet ally, running, in that step demands a level of constant attention that running does not. My mind must always stay present and focused on the instructor, one small distraction about what I am going to make for dinner or what I want to be when I grow up and I completely lose my place forcing me to stop and march in place until I can catch the instructor's next move. 

Today there was a new girl in class with her bench squeezed in the farthest back corner of the room closest to the door so she can escape if she chooses; this used to be my spot. She was nervous and awkward, thinking too hard about the instructor's next move before she said it. No matter how far back you hide, there is great fear in being vulnerable, in trying something new.  I wanted to tell her to relax, stop over-thinking the steps, just listen to the teacher's voice to guide you. Most importantly know that no one is watching you, no one really cares. Everyone is so focused on themselves and keeping their own feet moving that really unless you completely fall to the ground, no one will notice if you miss a few steps or sneak out the door to catch your breath. You can always stop and march, there are no punishments for deviating from the routine. 

My step bench is now in a row behind the instructor. It seems it has been creeping forward as my confidence grew to allow space for the rookies to hide until they too are ready to leave the comfort of the back row. The back row is comfortable but the closer you get to the front, it allows for new challenges like seeing your reflection clearly in the mirror and not letting that deter you from ever coming back to the class. However, that is for another blog post. For now I am just taking it one step at a time.

Love & Light,

Here are a few awkward family photos taken by the boys at Carter Mountain.

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