Thursday, January 5, 2012

A Portrait of 2012

I have been procrastinating writing my first post of the New Year because it always seems like the moment it strikes midnight on New Years Day a blank canvas is placed in front of you. The pressure to begin painting the portrait of what your 2012 will look like complete with resolutions, new goals and mantras manifests a fear that makes me just stare at the blank canvas, unable to choose a color or to pick up the brush to paint. That is why I have avoided resolutions the past few years. I was inwardly protesting the societal pressures to change. Because the older I get the more I realize, if a person (myself included) is not ready to make a shift, then it does not matter if it is January 1st or July 1st, it won't happen. That being said, I have decided to let go of my resolution angst and use some of that societal pressure to my advantage to motivate me to start the process of making some changes.

The week before Christmas I was having intense neck and shoulder pain which brought me to a chiropractor for the first time. She said so many mothers come to see her because they do not realize how bad things have gotten until they are in such pain they cannot move. As mothers, we carry so much on our shoulders. Not only do we physically carry our children but we carry our emotions. After a while, this weight becomes intolerable. A few cracks later I felt like she had lifted two concrete cylinders off my shoulders and my neck pain was completely gone. But the most important thing I left that office feeling was a sense of how important body awareness is. If you are like me, you try your hardest to get your children to eat more vegetables and fruit, get plenty of rest and fluids, have play and alone time and give them a lot of praise and affection. But there are days when all I have consumed is pop-tarts and diet coke. I had less than 5 hours of sleep and my alone time was locking the door while I took a 10 minute shower. Why am I wanting to provide the best for my children when I do not want the same for myself? How can I be good at being a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend if I am only giving at half strength? I can only function so long on pop-tarts and caffeine before I am no longer able to give any more thus become resentful and angry. And who is really to blame? ME!

SO... I am picking up my brush, dipping it in a bright vivid yellow and starting to paint the portrait of my 2012. I am not going to list my resolutions like eat more vegetables, get more sleep, exercise more. We all know these, they are splashed across every magazine cover and on various segments of the Today Show. Instead, I am going to make a vow to listen to my body. To treat myself like I do the people I love, with kindness and yes some discipline to eat better and get more fresh air but with kindness and respect, not with "shoulds" or harsh words.

I always liked the analogy of the oxygen masks on the airplane. If there were ever a need to use them, you must put on your own mask first to breathe before you are able to have the strength to assist others. I still envision myself putting them on my kids and helping my husband first before I would put mine on, but they need me to be strong to be strong for them. It is a win, win.

Love & Light,


Here are some photos from today.

1 comment :

  1. Is that the mr.?! Listening to my body....susie and I are going to the spa in the morning. Thanks!