Friday, March 4, 2011

The Bad Mom Alarm

There are days when I yell. I find it is easiest to yell at those you love the most. Which is truly ironic because they are the people you want MOST to be happy. But it happens. And when I hear myself yelling, I want to freeze the moment, reverse time and react differently.

Like today for example. I am painting these bar stools. And let's just say, it is not going well. Brian says it is because I did not sand the varnish off correctly so I am trying to use water base paint to cover a stool that is in essence, water proof. He tells me this TODAY. After two weeks and four coats of paint.... He thought I would figure it out on my own. I didn't.

I have been telling Nolan for two weeks "DO NOT TOUCH" the paint. He looks at me, tries to pick up a brush, circles the stools eyeing me with that look of mischief. I continue to say, firmly, but nicely to NOT TOUCH the paint. Today, he was out back and I went to rinse the brushes and I hear a noise. I just knew. I ran out and there he was driving his motorcycle on the tops of my freshly painted barstools. Face, clothes, the deck, covered in dark blue paint.

I yelled. LOUD. He responded with such shock that he just broke into tears. You know the kind, where they can't catch their breath between sobs. I heard myself, and I also heard the BAD MOM alarm going off very loudly. I stepped inside, caught my breath and came out and hugged him and said I am sorry for yelling but you cannot drive your motorcycle through the paint that I have told you not to touch (A HUNDRED TIMES).

He hugs me, I wipe his tears and we go in for lunch. After his nap I went to get him and the first thing out of his mouth was, "I sorry Mama, I sorry I drove on your paint." DAGGER TO THE HEART!!! That damn Bad Mom alarm going off again. I just hugged him and said it was okay and sorry I yelled. This could potentially turn into a therapy session for him years down the road. Or more likely for me if I don't get his sweet little crying face out of my head...

Another life lesson and another quarter in the Save for the Kid's Therapy jar.

Love & Light,


Here are some photos.

This is the reflection of the sun off the church where we play on the playground in the afternoons. I did not edit this photo. I love the color.

Creed says he gets yelled at all the time for doing things he shouldn't. Where is his therapy money? In my wine glass I tell him.

This was a sunbathing turtle we saw last week. I tried to get closer to it as I did not have a long lens but he slipped into the water.

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